Making the Perfect Marriage
Posted: Sunday, November 16, 2008
by Michelle MacKinnon
Michelle MacKinnon - author
If you want to have the perfect marriage, then don't marry. But if you want to have a great one and understand your partner a little better, then read on and I hope that some of the advice and anecdotes in this article will aid you on your quest.
After listening to countless stories of unhappy relationships, I came to the conclusion that what the world lacked was a manual on how to get it right first time. Let's face it; if people knew how to get it right first time then they would save themselves an awful lot of heartache! Lawyers wouldn't make as much money in the divorce business though, but then... do we care?
After listening to countless stories of unhappy relationships, I came to the conclusion that what the world lacked was a manual on how to get it right first time. Let's face it; if people knew how to get it right first time then they would save themselves an awful lot of heartache! Lawyers wouldn't make as much money in the divorce business though, but then... do we care?
If you have had problems finding the right one, or even if you think you have found him or her and are having a few hiccups on the road to happiness, then perhaps a few of the tips in this article will help you. I hope so. Good luck on your journey, and remember, there are a million clichés out there you can call upon if all else fails…
Cliché:
If at first you don't succeed… try, try, again… (Well perhaps not that one. The average person, if we are to believe statistics, has at least seven partners during their lifetime and we want to minimise wastage of time after all! For goodness sake, someone must have been having an awful lot of partners, if you think about those that only get one – or none! (I promise you, I haven't been pinching your share.)
Tip - most people are not attracted to those who play the field. A great lover is not someone who goes from partner to partner to partner. Any dog can do that. A great lover is one who can keep one person satisfied for a lifetime.
Tip - most people are not attracted to those who play the field. A great lover is not someone who goes from partner to partner to partner. Any dog can do that. A great lover is one who can keep one person satisfied for a lifetime.
Cliché:
There's plenty more fish in the sea… (To be quite honest with you, I don't particularly like this one. A fish smells a bit rank, and is a cold, wet kind of partner at that.)
Tip - smelling and looking clean is a great aphrodisiac.
Cliché:
There's plenty more fish in the sea… (To be quite honest with you, I don't particularly like this one. A fish smells a bit rank, and is a cold, wet kind of partner at that.)
Tip - smelling and looking clean is a great aphrodisiac.
You have to kiss a lot of toads before you find your handsome prince... (Well, girls and guys, kissing is great fun and all, but toads…? Only slightly up the scale from fish, I'd say.)
Tip - only kiss someone if you are serious about them. The human mouth contains a lot of germs so it doesn't pay to go kissing all and sundry anyway. Glandular fever, colds, flu... Guys and girls, if you are a smoker, your chances of being kissed often, are statistically much lower than the non smoker's. Brushing your teeth is a good start. Giving up would be even better. (Smoking, that is.)
Tip - only kiss someone if you are serious about them. The human mouth contains a lot of germs so it doesn't pay to go kissing all and sundry anyway. Glandular fever, colds, flu... Guys and girls, if you are a smoker, your chances of being kissed often, are statistically much lower than the non smoker's. Brushing your teeth is a good start. Giving up would be even better. (Smoking, that is.)
So, if your best friend has been consoling you with timeworn clichés such as the aforementioned, grab some chocolates, a nice drink of your favourite beverage, and hole up in a cosy corner for some of life's secrets that parents never tell their kids. By the way, please give this article to your children if you have any, once you have finished reading it.
Firstly, for those who haven't already noticed this, guys and girls are different to each other. Not only on the outside, but also inside their heads. I've listed below some basic needs that guys have, and the corresponding ones that girls have. Please note the differences and don't expect your partners to think the same way you do.
Guys Need Girls Need
- Sexual fulfillment / Affection
Sorry guys, but if you want your needs in this department met, you have to make sure you meet her need first. A girl needs to feel loved before she wants to make love. Arguing or criticising her within 24 hours of bedtime is a major turnoff. Girls, this need of the guys is what he means when he asks God to 'give us this day our daily bread'. A guy needs to make love to feel loved.
- An attractive partner / Honesty & integrity
It may seem shallow, but it's all to do with the hard wiring in a guy's head - he's looking for the girl who will make cute babies and be physically appealing. Ask a girl what she sees in a guy and invariably she will mention that he has nice eyes, nothing at all about the fantastic pecs or abs - see, it's all about honesty, the window to the soul kind of stuff. How many of you guys have noticed the gorgeous looking girl on the arm of Mr Less than average and wondered how he managed to get such a hot lady? Trust me, it's the eyes.
Tip - guys, don't try looking too closely into Mr Average's eyes to see what she sees in him, he might get the wrong idea!
Tip - guys, don't try looking too closely into Mr Average's eyes to see what she sees in him, he might get the wrong idea!
- A recreational partner / Conversation
Guys, have you wondered why she stopped showing such interest in your hobbies after you put the ring on her finger? Girls, do your girlfriends talk to you far more than your partner does? This is one of those examples of difference between the male and female. Girls can spend hours gabbing about the tiniest details that men don't even notice. Men just need to be doing something. Chatting on the phone all day about the latest fashions, Mrs X's hairdo, or... seems incomprehensible to a guy.
Tip - to keep your partner happy spend time with them, talking and doing things together.
- Domestic support / Financial support
Guys love coming home from a busy day at work to a tidy house, a cooked meal and a happy lady. Of course, these days the wife is often out working as well and doesn't always have the energy to be Wonderwoman in the cleaning department, Superwoman with the kids, and Femme Fatale in the boudoir, but it's worth noting what makes each other happy.
- Admiration / Fidelity and a good dad for the kids
Girls, tell him he's the greatest, stroke his ego daily. (And if you can stroke other things as well you will have a happy man.) Guys, never so much as look at another female, and play with your kids, then you will have a happy lady.
This is a short version of the difference between guys and girls, but if you both work on meeting all the needs of your partner, then you will be much happier together.
On further thought, perhaps you should make sure your kids are old enough to understand before you share this article with them.
http://www.michellemackinnon.com
On further thought, perhaps you should make sure your kids are old enough to understand before you share this article with them.
http://www.michellemackinnon.com
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Top-level comments on this article: (7 total)hi michelle,this was a great article. it had facts, and fun comments, and was true as far as i'm concerned.what was my favorite line? yup-the one maybe the kids shouldn't see:)welcome to searchwarp, and i hope you continue writing,best regards,sue thomThank you Sue for your kind comments. Writing is an obsession of mine - the boxes under the bed and in the cupboards testify to that - so I don't think I'll be stopping anytime soon:-)All the best with yours.Michelle
Michelle, This was such a helpful guide! Whew, I'm almost lost for words to explain how great this has been to finally have a clue to what the hek was going on with some relationships today, thanks!Thank you :-)Kind regardsMichelle
Thanks Michelle for sharing a well written article. The differentiation was excellent. The best line I liked the most is - "If you want to have the perfect marriage, then don't marry. But if you want to have a great one and understand your partner a little better, then read on..."You are so true...This article definitely has helped me to learn & will help others too. May God Bless you...(Do read my articles too)Thank you :-)Nobody's perfect, but we can certainly try to be better people and make others happy.CheersMichelle
I will ponder your points. I have been married 37 years, and really she is the only woman I have known. I won't have an opportunity to use any of your advice, but I think it was good advice. Peace be with you. tex
Good job thanks for sharing this it is inspiring for all of us.
You nailed on the head!
I find your advice accurate and helpful. It's a lifelong assignment, with many ups and downs. Thanks for the article. ~mogama~
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